We’ve never figured out how Vlad gets them through the cat door or how they get stacked so high!
Ukraine?
Not sure if Vlad will be able to get it through the cat door, but he is super-determined!
Jon Schwarz’s Bits
DNC Emails
Oddly enough, they were on a vintage 8-inch floppy disk.
Milk Peanut Flavor Doughnuts
Are they doughnuts? Are they cereal? What is “Milk Peanut Flavor”? Is “Non Oil-Based Puffed Food” a thing? Nobody knows. All we know is Vlad took it!
Nerf Dart
Useless, in and of itself.
The Sun
The Sun! Vlad took the sun!
A Red Envelope
At our Oscars™ party last night, Vlad surprised everyone by bringing in a big red envelope with the words “BEST PICTURE” on it, right as Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway were taking the stage. What a coinkidink!
U.S.A.
Nobody else wanted it…so Vlad took it!
Crimea
It was just hanging there off of Ukraine.